I just finished reading a book called Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan and I had so many thoughts and emotions brewing up as I read it. The book is a fictional story about a stay at home mom, Ashley, adapting and struggling with motherhood. Through the book she tries to be like a celebrity mom and manages to fail miserably each time she attempts something new. The end was very sweet (and a bit cheesy) but I enjoyed reading it since a lot of what she expresses are similar feelings I have had. The book was hilarious and I’m sure many moms can easily relate to a lot of what was said.
Becoming a mother was not easy for me. Being a stay at home mother, to be exact. The changes were and are very challenging. Before becoming a mom I had a lifestyle that I struggled to keep up with once I became a mom and I had a totally different view of life. Becoming a mom has made me view life so differently and through that I’ve reflected on how my thoughts and priorities have shifted.
First let’s talk about the stay at home part. The having one income and still trying to hang on to my lifestyle. The struggle of missing the professional praise of a work environment and the sense of satisfaction for a job well done. The pride of feeling independent and successful. The interaction, knowledge and experience gained from day to day tasks. I miss all that. I’m sure that I would be totally exhausted if I had to work but I really do miss having professional recognition and being rewarded for my hard work. Yeah yeah my husband and my kids smiles are rewarding but they are not the same.
Being a stay at home mom has never been my dream or the only job I want to have. I want to utilize my skills and knowledge for something other than changing diapers and cooking meals. It’s a struggle within myself to be content with just being a stay at home mom. No doubt, its a blessing and I love being the one to raise my boys and take care of them. I have always been a working independent woman, who holds high standards for herself, so this was quite the adjustment.
And then lets add the changes to my body! I won’t go into all those details but y’all know where I’m going with this one. I’m soooo not one of those moms that just sheds the weight right off or says no to tacos. I’ve had to bust my butt to lose “some” of the weight and then there’s those stretch marks that aren’t going anywhere!
I follow so many social media moms and even have my favorites. Just like Ashley, from Confessions of a Domestic Failure, I’ve often wondered how in the world are they doing this motherhood thing so perfectly?!!! Society, in particular social media, adds so much pressure to what we need to do and what we need to look like and it’s not just with motherhood. It’s with everything! Social media can honestly distract you from reality!
I am now a mother of two handsome little boys and even though it has been a challenge I wouldn’t change anything at all! It has for sure taken plenty of trials and errors to adjust to my new life. I’ve had to give up on many things no longer important to me and have learned so much about myself along the way.
My boys keep me busy and I enjoy it most of the time, when busy doesn’t mean cleaning up the mess they make or trying to make them stop fighting. And when I’m not doing that, I find other ways to stay busy. I cook plenty, read, craft, workout, find activities for the boys, do yard work, grill (or so I try)…you name it, I’ve probably done it (except kill bugs, I call hubs home from work to handle that…I be scared)! But seriously I do all that not because of society or social media telling me that’s what I’m supposed to do as a stay at home mom but because it helps the day and gives me the satisfaction of being productive in something. Thats where my high standards kick in and so I overwhelm myself with chores, activities and hobbies to keep myself busy. I kid you not I stress myself when I don’t check something off my to do list because I do get a sense of accomplishment when I nail a new recipe or a new activity with the boys.
Most days, if not all, I spend my days without makeup and in yoga pants because now a days I chose comfort over fashion. I’ve struggled to lose my baby weight and get back to pre-pregnancy clothes but I’ve learned one very important thing in my journey. It’s not about how I look, its about how I feel. I feel happiest when I’m not worried about my chipped nail polish, or my hair getting scary frizzy or my lonjas showing. I feel happiest when I’m with my little family having unfiltered fun and to be honest there are bigger and better things to be worried about, from getting a toddler to poop in the potty to keeping up with CNN and world news.
I am no where near a perfect mom. Half of the time I have no idea what I am doing, (cue in calls to my mom and pinterest). I go with the flow, learning about motherhood and parenting every single day. I find ways to make my new life meet my needs. I don’t always succeed and I have issues and drama in my life just like everyone else does. And that’s reality!!!
Sure, I’ll post cute pics of my boys and their current shenanigans. I’ll post about our travel adventures and my bomb craft journals. I’ll post about my delicious meal preps and pinsperations. Why? Because that’s my pride, that’s my hard days work, that’s my interaction with the outside world that I genuinely miss.
This motherhood thing is really no joke! There are way too many emotions involved at a time when one should be focused on one very important thing…the beautiful human beings that you have welcomed into this big beautiful world! I am learning everyday how to deal with these emotions but I am not letting them consume me like I used to and instead I keep myself busy. It’s not easy when my friends and family are so far away and I can’t just call them over for wine and venting sessions. My fun is my hobbies, my kids and all that other stuff.
So to all the mama’s out there I say do YOU and be patient with it. If you like the movie Bridesmaids and are looking for a fun book to read I recommend Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan. The movie Bridesmaids reminds me of some of the shenanigans you”ll read about in this book. Thanks to my amiga, Gaby Caudillo, for suggesting this book and inspiring this post.
Mama Bear Mimi 
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